I'm feeling like I need to get back to the basics. I love to write on this blog; and share our everyday lives with others who are far away. Its a great way to keep connected & stay in touch with far off friends & family.
But what I love the most, & the reason I started this blog in the first place, is to have a place where I can write out my feelings. Today; if I'm being completely honest was not a very good day. I woke up to my cell phone buzzing; my Mom was calling. My younger sister and her fiance got in a bad car accident this morning on their way to class. She was broadsided and her car is totaled. I am so thankful that everyone involved in the accident is alright. But its a very unsettling way to start the day, knowing your sister is being taken to a hospital 1,000 miles away and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
I think because I wanted to be home so much today, I wasn't all here. Its as if my heart, my mind, & all my emotions were tied up in that situation & I couldn't be in my current state of mind. I was just going through the motions.
Now that I'm sitting on my couch looking back on the day, its easy to realize this. Hindsight is 20/20, right? But I think I'm doing this in many aspects of my life, other than just today.
Kevin and I know that we will live here in Mississippi for approximately 8 more months. After that, Kevin will graduate and the plan is for us to move back to Pennsylvania. I think because I know that, I'm constantly looking forward, and not living in the moment. I'm already trying to plan our lives 8 months from now. Where will we live? Where will I work? What classes will I take? Will Kevin find a job? Where will we go to church? etc, etc, etc!
I think because my heart lives in PA with my family, and my home, it's hard for me to be completely here in my everyday life.
I think this realization jolted me a bit; kind of like my sister in that car. I want to live in the present; not the past & not the future. Because I know the day we pack up that moving van and drive north;back home- will be a very sad day. & I will have wanted to count each day for what it is; a blessing. Something never to be wished away.