Wednesday, April 18, 2012

presently

I'm feeling like I need to get back to the basics. I love to write on this blog; and share our everyday lives with others who are far away. Its a great way to keep connected & stay in touch with far off friends & family.
But what I love the most, & the reason I started this blog in the first place, is to have a place where I can write out my feelings. Today; if I'm being completely honest was not a very good day. I woke up to my cell phone buzzing; my Mom was calling. My younger sister and her fiance got in a bad car accident this morning on their way to class. She was broadsided and her car is totaled. I am so thankful that everyone involved in the accident is alright. But its a very unsettling way to start the day, knowing your sister is being taken to a hospital 1,000 miles away and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
I think because I wanted to be home so much today, I wasn't all here. Its as if my heart, my mind, & all my emotions were tied up in that situation & I couldn't be in my current state of mind. I was just going through the motions.
Now that I'm sitting on my couch looking back on the day, its easy to realize this. Hindsight is 20/20, right? But I think I'm doing this in many aspects of my life, other than just today.
Kevin and I know that we will live here in Mississippi for approximately 8 more months. After that, Kevin will graduate and the plan is for us to move back to Pennsylvania. I think because I know that, I'm constantly looking forward, and not living in the moment. I'm already trying to plan our lives 8 months from now. Where will we live? Where will I work? What classes will I take? Will Kevin find a job? Where will we go to church? etc, etc, etc!
I think because my heart lives in PA with my family, and my home, it's hard for me to be completely here in my everyday life.
I think this realization jolted me a bit; kind of like my sister in that car. I want to live in the present; not the past & not the future. Because I know the day we pack up that moving van and drive north;back home- will be a very sad day. & I will have wanted to count each day for what it is; a blessing. Something never to be wished away.
xox

4 comments:

  1. You're words are very mature. I can complete relate to looking ahead and not cherishing where you're at.
    This can be especially hard when you know the Lord has promised you something and you're waiting for it to come about.

    Blessings!

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  2. Wisdom, again, I am in awe of your perspective Lindsey. Yes, today is so important too :) Thanks for reminding us!

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  3. Is it stalkerish that I read your blog a lot?
    Anyway, I loved this post. I, too, struggle with this and have blogged about it before. It's hard to do! Thanks for your honesty. And glad your sister and those involved are OK.
    Heather

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  4. Heather no, not at all!!! I didn't know you were a blogger too :) thanks for the encouragement!

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