Monday, April 30, 2012

young & ...married?

"You're engaged?!" She was staring at the obvious ring on my left hand.
I didn't know this girl-didn't even know her name.
"I'm married, actually." I said-thinking the conversation was over.
"You're married?!" Ok.. so the conversation wasn't over.
And then the question-always with the question; "How old are you??"
"How old do you think I am?" which is most always my swift response. I usually get 23, 24, even 26 one time.
"21?" She asked. Dang-this girl was good. She nailed it.
I didn't have a swift response for that one, so I just said; "..Yeah."
"You're 21 and you're married?"..yep, thought we'd just covered this.
"How long have you been married?" 
"It will be 3 years this Summer." I replied. I see her doing the math in her head, so I help her out. "Yeah, I got married when I was 18."
At this point her eyes get as big as softballs. "Eight-teen?!" She drags the word into 2 long parts.
At this point I'm more than a little annoyed. "Yep." I say. She then asks me something about what my parents thought..but by then the conversation is over. She's written me off as a teenage bride freak, and theres nothing more I can say. So this is the story of my life; awkward moments with complete strangers who know nothing about me. I'm not sure why they think they can get away with pelting me with personal questions that most others don't have the nerve to ask.

Did I plan on getting married at 18? Heck no. But sometimes God has plans for us that we don't fully understand until we are in the thick of them. I am so happy this was God's plan for my life; and that I've been able to live it out. But there's still these conversations I have with others which are upsetting, and apparently I deal with them by writing about it on my blog ;)

But really, I used to care way too much about what other people thought of me. I think many people (girls especially) deal with this. I was always scared of what people thought. What they thought about my clothes, my hair, my family, my hobbies, my grades. Anything and everything! And it was quite exhausting, living this way.

Finally when I got a bit older I began to realize how little others opinions really matter. As long as I was living for God, and was happy with myself, I felt satisfied. I often hear the quote "Comparison is the thief of joy." That applied perfectly to my life. It wasn't until I stopped caring, and stopped comparing, that I finally made peace with myself and who God created me to be.

 People will not always understand. In my situation, I find it rare when people do understand. (Obviously the girl the other day was totally perplexed) Why is a 21 year old married and continuously talking about moving to Africa? I don't know. I can't explain it, other than that's the way God made me. And I'm still learning to embrace it everyday.

3 comments:

  1. this might be my favorite blog of yours yet :) I know I was one who accidentally texted you instead of someone else, "Lindsey's engaged?!?!" lol So happy for you though & you & Kevin are by far my favorite couple in the world, I always tell Eric, "Let's be like Lindsey & Kevin and go on lots of adventures!"

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  2. Good for you. I was married when I was 21. My daughter married when she was 21. I'm deliriously happy, still, after 28 years. God presented my husband to me when I was 19! It's like that. You don't plan it. But, I'm so glad my love was given to me so young.

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  3. girl, I totally know how you feel in these convos, and I got married at 21. People are like, "say what?! do you even know what you are doing?!" and then I punch them in the face. I mean...

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