Monday, May 14, 2012

the worst morning ever.

Today Kevin and I had what I would call the worst morning we have ever experienced. But isn't it funny how bad experiences turn into hilarious stories? And thank goodness I have a blog where I can share these stories with about anyone willing to read them.
The day started like any other Sunday, we were downstairs getting ready for church, and I was about to grab some breakfast.
It was when I walked through the kitchen that I spotted something on our table. It looked like Kevin had spilled something- only he wasn't eating at the table. Upon further inspection I see the yellowish liquid that had engulfed our tabletop. I don't mention her much on this blog-probably because I loathe her-but we own a cat named Nelly. Nelly is known for peeing in random places. This random place happened to be on top of our dinning surface and, consequently, on top of the Mothers Day cards I had purchased for my mom and Kevin's mom. They were ruined, and I was peeved. Greeting cards aren't cheap, ya know.
Kevin is furious, I am furious, and Nelly was creeping around unaware that we were about to murder her. Nelly is an indoor cat, but sometimes when she pees in random places Kevin and I will kick her outside for a few hours to teach her a lesson. I know; this is probably the cruelest thing imaginable, but it had to be done.
Oh, and did I mention that it rained, like, 50 inches yesterday? Yeah- modern day flood in Mississippi.
So, picture this; We have our back door open, trying to chase Nelly outside. It just so happens that our trash bin is out our back door- on the porch. So I am making my way to the porch to discard the pee-ridden paper towels and ruined mothers day cards. This is when Kevin successfully chases Nelly out the door. So imagine what our neighbors saw go down on our porch this morning; me in my Sunday best, trying to throw nasty crap away, and one psychotic pee-everywhere cat. THIS is when my foot lost traction on the slippery deck and I fell-hard. There was a dark mess all over my pretty green skinny jeans, I'm holding a pee rag, and Nelly darts back into the house.
I burst into tears.
Kevin missed my grand fall; so he has no idea what is happening, other than Nelly is on the run again. This was the grand moment, folks. The moment that I knew our morning had gone to the dogs (or cats, I guess.) I tear off my jeans and run them to the sink, hoping-praying-the stain will come out. From then on, I'm running around, pants-less, trying to get that God-forsaken cat OUT of our apartment.
We finally chase Nelly outside, and slam the door behind her. I kid you not when I say that less than two minutes later our dog Chesapeake was puking up some seriously disturbing material all over my living room carpet.
The best moment was when everything calmed down, and the puke was cleaned, Kevin said; "Well I guess you have something to blog about, huh?"
Hah! He knows me so well.
He then proceeds to pull the pee covered Mothers Day cards out of the trash so I can take a picture of them to document this terrible morning. What a guy.
 I know there have been far worse morning time catastrophes out there- but today I felt like ours took the cake. I love that these terrible situations bring humor though; and Kevin and I were laughing about everything just minutes later.(And to those wondering; Nelly was let back inside after only 30 minutes.) I'm hoping your Sunday was just as exciting; but maybe a little less pee-covered.


  1. I'm so glad you weren't hurt. Mornings are the worst! But you are right...the images are funny. Thanks for sharing.

  2. If it's any consolation our beagle Sadie Mae peed on the floor this morning leaving me a surprise to clean up at 5am. :-)