Sunday, March 17, 2013

things I've learned with a long distance marriage

As many of you who read this blog know, Kevin and I have been living apart for the past 2 months. Not out of choice, but to keep it short that's just how the dice were rolled.
He's been in Mississippi finishing up his graduate thesis, and I've been in Pennsylvania working and going to school while staying with my family.
During this time I have learned a lot of things. Mostly things about myself, but also a lot about other people. It's not been easy, and I give a million kudos to every military spouse out there. It's no cake walk.
But if I'm going through something I like to try to find a meaning or lesson from it.
So here are a few things I've learned from this experience.

I am not a people person.
I knew this about myself before, but I feel like this situation magnified my unsociable qualities by a million.
Go out with friends for dinner and drinks or stay in with pizza, a clay mask and a DVD? That shouldn't even be qualified as a real question. I would always, always rather stay in.
And I don't admire that about myself, it's just the truth. Kevin is the most social person I've ever met, and I truly believe when we are together we find the perfect balance between our two extremes. But now that he's not here I've really had to force myself to get out and do things. My sisters have been a huge help in this (I might be a hermit if it weren't for them).  But I still have a long way to go.

my thoughts exactly

People want to know
Lately, anywhere I go or anyone I talk to has the perfect one-liner for me. It goes like this; "How's Kevin doing? When's he coming back up here?"
If I had a quarter for every time I awkwardly looked away and prayed to God someone would come save me from that conversation I might be able to buy Kevin his masters degree. (I'm being dramatic, but really).
And I feel bad even talking about this, because people really are so kind. They only want to make conversation and know what's going on in our lives. They don't mean any harm!
But it's hard to talk about, ya know? I wish Kevin was here so much, and I just feel like talking about it so often is emotionally draining.

Dogs rebel like children
I don't know what to say about this, other than Kevin is the favorite 'parent' and they miss him! He is way cooler than me and would take them on much longer walks, so I totally understand their feelings :)

So, again, all you long distance lovers out there; I've gotta hand it to ya. It's definitely not very fun, but what needed to happen in this situation.
My silver lining is that Kevin coming home for a few weeks this month!


  1. So you two are both way cooler than we are but our dynamic is much the same. I'd so rather be at home than socializing.

    You'll get through this time and be a better person for it.

    As for the dogs, well, give them lots of treats, you'll be the favorite in no time. :-)

  2. Just remember every day you're closer to seeing each other and stay busy, even if it's staying in and Pinterest crafting all day and night! I've become such a homebody too and I (and my pets) love it!

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  4. i'm so not a social person as well and many many time i chose to stay in rather than go out.
    long distance dating is sucks, and i can't imagine it in marriage. but hopefully you 2 will get the best out of it eventually. and i pray that you 2 will reunite sooner than later

  5. I've had several friends do the long-distance-marriage thing, and I know it isn't easy. But think about the things the two of you are learning about your relationship that no other couple would! You two will be stronger from it, I am sure.
    oh, and pizza, facemask and a movie? PERFECT NIGHT.